The following rumination, published first on Medium, was inspired by “my old ladies”…
…women 20 or 25 years older whom I’ve befriended and gotten to know since I was 50. I now am old enough to be someone else’s “old lady.” Still, I continue to seek out “good” much-older women — though I’ve had to adjust the age difference! Each of my old ladies is engaged, interesting, and active. I do whatever I can to emulate their strength, courage, self-care, social savvy, and sense of humor — in short, to age “well.” But, of course, it’s not all in my hands.
When I’m an old lady…
Will I remember my passwords?
For my bank account and credit cards
For Amazon and Speedo and J. Crew
For that credit-reporting — or did I opt out?
Will I know what each ding or beep means?
The toast is finished?
The coffee brewed?
The refrigerator is door open…again?
Will I have accidents when there’s no beep?
The tub could overflow.
The water could boil down.
A fire could start…if I’m not careful.
When I’m an old lady…
Will I find my wallet in the pantry…
…next to the small jar of wasabi?
Will I remember what wasabi is?
Will I forget that I have a wallet to lose?
Will I still cook?
Will I struggle to retrieve the word salt?
Will I set the table and discover I already have?
Will I forget how much I enjoy good food?
Will I be reluctant to leave my house?
Will I still want to try a new restaurant?
Who will drive me if I do?
What will I wear?
When I’m an old lady…
Will I be tolerated or toasted?
Will I repeat the same stories?
Will I be treated with respect?
Will I become invisible?
Will I still walk three miles a day?
Will I walk at all?
Will I forget to walk?
Will I care?
Will I be able to care for my dog?
Will I remember how to feed him?
Will I groom him despite arthritic hands?
Will living with a dog be “too much”?
When I’m an old lady…
Will I spend my days visiting doctors?
Will I need someone with me to help me understand?
Will I be on many medicines and struggle to keep them straight?
Will I be in pain?
Will I know the names and faces of the people I love most?
Will I remember the woman who lives next door?
Will I be someone’s burden?
Will I know that I’m still loved?
Will my inner strength and optimism protect me?
Can 88 — even 98 — be as “good” as 78?
Will I continue to accept change gracefully?
Will I learn to live in the moment, when moments are all that’s left?
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More stories about “my old ladies”…
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