Yesterday — much to my delight — Jane Brody‘s featured “The Benefit of Talking To Strangers” in her “Personal Health” column for the New York Times. Actually, it’s about consequential strangers.
With in-person time with family and close friends now limited by a mutual desire to avoid exposure to Covid-19, the brief socially distant contacts with people in my neighborhood, both those I’ve known casually for years and others I just met, have been crucial to my emotional and practical well-being and maybe even my health.
The benefits I associate with my casual connections were reinforced recently by a fortuitous find. During a Covid-inspired cleanup I stumbled upon a book in my library called “Consequential Strangers: The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter … But Really Do.” Published 11 years ago, this enlightening tome was written by Melinda Blau, a science writer, and Karen L. Fingerman, currently a professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin…
I was thrilled for our book to be covered by the New York Times — and by Jane Brody, no less. I’ve always admired her and imagined from her writing that we have a lot in common. We could be consequential strangers!… [read more].
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I hope you’re not offended, but please allow me to explain why I’m send you to the online magazine Medium to read the rest of this piece. Yes, I am asking you to spend an extra nanosecond to click again. Our attention spans such as they are, I get how much of an imposition this is. But bear with me. I’m doing it because I want to reach more people.
Believe me, if you’ve become a “subscriber,” I appreciate your allowing this site to send you an email each time I publish. But writers like to be read and people are reading less these days, even people who are themselves writers, even people who are subscribers.
By the way, this is an experiment. I don’t know if more people will actually read and react. I hope you will, though. I am often overwhelmed by what writers are expected to do to be “read” these days. But I do love the idea of having readers respond, sooooo….
- Let me know how onerous it was to have to click to another site, how much extra time and effort.
- Let me know whether you did it at all.
- Did I give too much or too little of a teaser?
- And if you read it, was it worth your time?
To tell the truth. I was more interested in following the narrative and barely noticed where I was reading it; had to go back and check after you mentioned your reason.
Good to know. Thanks!
Jane Brody was smart to pick up your book “Consequential Strangers“ during this pandemic. Our new found isolation has reminded us of the value of everyday people in our lives serving as a support system. Thanks for teaching us how to appreciate the consequential strangers who surround us and give our lives comfort.
You’re welcome. I have to say that of all the books I’ve written, this one is with me always, still shaping my choices!
I know my mind shouldn’t go there. But as I was reading about Rocky and Millie I couldn’t help wondering if perhaps there wasn’t more than a platonic relationship on their minds.
As for consequential strangers “who knew”? I thought I was just nosy or a bit of a yenta.
I love learning of people’s stories. Everybody has one and I find I can almost always learn something. That is what I miss most about living in lock down. I had an aha moment when I realized what I miss most about my not going to Starbucks, it’s not the coffee or frappuccino. It’s the consequential strangers ( is using this term plagiarism?) I would meet there.
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Glad the article opened your eyes and yes! by all mean, use the phrase (even tho it’s a mouthful)! Your sense of Rocky and Millies relationship is probably correct. The truth is, we always start a relationship as consequential strangers and sometimes, as we get to know each other, it becomes more. In the book I talk about the “relationship continuum,” which progresses from complete stranger to soulmate.
Consequential Strangers really changed the way I moved through the world as I began to understand the rich tapestry of relationships I had that I hadn’t stepped back to notice. I’m so glad to see it is being recognized again at a time when strangers have never been more consequential. Thank you!
BTW going to medium was easy. I’m there already!
Thank you for sharing this. I, too, have embraced the idea of consequential strangers and continue to apply it in my own life