Mask 101: If not now, when?

Eventually, we all might be wearing masks — and not in the metaphorical sense. 

My first three were gifts.  A member of the Board of Directors gave me the kind our workers wear.  Friends in Long Island mailed me a non-sterile surgical mask.  And a friend who shall remain nameless gave me an N95 — or as I now think of it, the new Mink Coat.

N95s are “respirator masks,” rightfully reserved for health-care workers who otherwise lack proper protection.  I set aside my guilt and wear mine sparingly.  It gives me (sort of) a sense of security in skeevy indoor, public spaces, like supermarkets and airports.  I’m wearing it tomorrow to a doctor’s appointment I can’t postpone.

As of April 20, face masks are mandatory in seven states — Connecticut, Hawaii, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island.  Masks have been required for weeks in many large metropolitan areas cities, Miami among them.   Recently, a man without a mask was barred from Milam’s, a supermarket in Sunny Isles Beach.  My building upholds the same county guidelines:

On Thursday, April 9, 2020 Miami-Dade County issued Emergency Order 20-20 ordering persons working in or visiting grocery stores, restaurants, pharmacies, construction sites, public transit vehicles, vehicles for hire, and locations where social distancing measures are not possible shall wear facial coverings as defined by the CDC.

And yet, confusion persists.  By early April, the  CDC began advising “the use of simple cloth face coverings to slow the spread of the virus.”  Some experts say masks don’t matter.  Indeed, the word “mask” still isn’t anywhere in “The President’s Coronavirus Guidelines for America.”

To wear or not to wear?  When to wear.  Where to wear?  Which one to wear?

 I came to masks gradually.  Below are my current guidelines!

Get one.  They’re less scarce now. Ask a mask-wearing neighbor. That’s how I heard that Milam’s was selling packages of 3 for $4.99 or 50 for $55.  Other neighbors paid more elsewhere — price-gouging is not unusual and, when one needs a mask, usually accepted.

Wear one because it’s a virtuous act.  Your mask — even an N95 — mostly benefits the other guy. You’re wearing it to keep your “germs” away from them — not to protect yourself. But that’s okay. Doing good is good for you.   Just make sure you’re wearing it correctly.

Masks are hot and uncomfortable?  Suck it up.   Instead of complaining, remind yourself that, other than staying home altogether, wearing a mask is something you can do in your tiny corner of the world.  There’s little else in your control. And who knows?  Mask-wearing just might slow the spread of this insidious virus after all.

Don’t get complacent.   The only thing we know for sure about COVID-19 is that it’s easily spread.  When wearing a mask in public, continue to observe social distancing guidelines — stay six feet apart, don’t gather in a group, avoid crowds.

Don’t assume you don’t “need” a mask because you are healthy and you’re not taking care of anyone who’s sick.  Recent studies show that even if you don’t have symptoms of the virus, you could still be a carrier.    As the CDC website explains:

…the virus can spread between people interacting in close proximity—for example, speaking, coughing, or sneezing—even if those people are not exhibiting symptoms.

Be especially vigilant when the maskless pass by. A Belgian-Dutch study found that whether the other person is running, riding, or walking past, as they breathe out, you breathe in their possibly-contaminated “airstream.”    It’s best to stay a 4- to 5- meters (13 – 16 feet) away.

Watch where you’re going.  We all would do well to be “mindful” when wearing our masks — that is, to “actively notice things,” as Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer puts it. I also channel my dear friend Margaret, a former preschool teacher whose mantra is, “I see danger everywhere.”  Trouble is, I can barely see with a mask on!*  I have a small face; the mask comes annoyingly close to my eyes. On hot days, my sunglasses fog up.  And danger is everywhere — curbs, cars, uneven sidewalks. Even worse, I’m someone who tends — when under stress, as we all now are — to forget, trip, burn, bump, drop, break, and lose things.  This is no time to damage a body part. (Thankfully, that is not my hand.)

Say hello selectively.   Social isolation is a killer.  Humans need to connect.  When I can identify familiar neighbors in their bandit costumes, I say hi.  I sometimes say hello to strangers.  All I have to go by are the eyes, the outfit, and the vibe.  Some don’t answer — they pretend not to hear me or actually can’t (this is Florida, after all!).  I don’t judge them; I’m more careful, too.  A few weeks ago, after a guy I chose not to greet shouted at me and approached me menacingly (“What if I have the virus?), I ordered a pepper spray from Amazon.  Arming myself never occurred to me in Manhattan.

“Smize.”  Clearly, not everyone deserves a smile, and you can’t see a smile beneath a mask.  But if you really mean to connect and convey positive feelings — which is good for you and for the other person — make your eyes smile instead:

Smiling with your eyes, also called the “Duchenne smile” or “smizing,” makes you look like you’re genuinely happy. Smiling with your eyes is hard to fake, and it helps to channel good thoughts so you’ll seem more sincere. Once you get really good at it, you can even smile using only your eyes!                                                                 “How to Smile with the Eyes”

Interestingly, smiling has health benefits, regardless of how well it’s received.  And smizing — getting your eyes into the act — is equally beneficial.

Be a mensch despite the mask.  A mensch is a kind person and a good citizen.  Being a mensch makes the world a better place.  I say “thank you” when someone steps into the road to give me space. I appreciate the acknowledgment.  And in that split second, my “thank you” also says to the passerby, “You matter to me.”  I wrote about “mattering” in Family Whispering.  Mattering, as one researcher put it, is a “source of resilience and joy.” Conveying to another person that they matter to you improves all relationships, even with total strangers.

Get creative and have fun.  I see an array of clever homemade masks on the street. Each one seems to come with a story.  Those of us who can’t or don’t want to make our own masks might consider supporting an out-of-work craft person by buying a handmade mask online.  I gave away the sewing machine I used in the 70s to attach hippie-style guitar-strap ribbon to my skinny son’s jeans.  Too bad.  That jacquard ribbon would have made a fabulously stylish mask!

* No small irony that one of the byproducts of this pandemic is poor visibility when masked.  A year ago, I had cataract surgery, leaving me with 20/20 vision for the first time in my highly-myopic life. 

This piece is also on Medium