How Dogs Help Us Cope

Rocky, who is now 8 months old, doesn’t care about the pandemic.  So I watch him…and try to take a page from his playbook.  He doesn’t ruminate about how long we’ll be sheltering in place. He stays in “the now,” happy that he has what he needs: food, walks, and belly rubs. 

I first began to see that dogs can be spiritual teachers in 1996 when I was writing Loving and Listening.  Day-at-a-time books were all the rage then (see BONUS READ below).  The idea was to read a page each day and ponder a particular emotional challenge.  After a divorce — as in recovery from addiction, illness, or any traumatic period of life — it’s truly a day at a time. 

It’s not easy to come up with 365 short inspirational pieces. How do we deal with and ease potentially harmful emotions like fear, anger, and grief? 

For ideas, I often observed Lois, the Border-Collie-Lab mix who was with me from 1992 to 2002.  To Lois, each day was a new beginning. 

I see the same spiritual qualities in Rocky.  He doesn’t look back, and he doesn’t worry about what’s ahead.  He has no regret when he runs madly through the apartment with my $150 eye drops or other contraband he’s stolen from my night table.  He’s just being a puppy.  (I was relieved to hear Governor Cuomo admit that he also yells at his dog.)  

Rocky lives a day at a time. He holds no grudges when I scream at him or banish him to his playpen.  He is not concerned or anxious…unless he sees a dog on TV.  He barks wildly at the screen, protecting me from the intruder.  He doesn’t know that the real enemy lurks in the air around us. 

One of the few books I kept when I sold my home in Massachusetts was my inscribed copy of Mystical Dogs: Animals as Guides to Our Inner Life by Jean Houston.  Jean traveled the world exploring, teaching, and offering spiritual guidance but she also learned profound lessons from her dogs.  She helped me through Lois’s dying.  Jean understood.  As she wrote in her introduction:

Dogs are the great companions of our lives  They teach us, love us, care for us even when we are uncaring, feed our souls, and always, always give us the benefit of the doubt.

If you search “dogs and the pandemic,” you’ll find articles, such as this one in the Boston Globe: “In Bad Times (like the Corona Virus Epidemic) Every Dog Is a Very Good Dog. Many news spots feature the recent run on animal shelters.  Science confirms what animal owners already know: caring for a pet is good for us, especially at times like this. 

When Bogey died in 2017, I spent a lot of time considering the pros and cons of adopting a dog.  Now I’m glad I did. Not only does Rocky give my days structure and purpose, he is here with me, a beloved presence at a time when I am far away from the humans I love most.  

♦♦♦

BONUS READ: Loving & Listening was published during the age of “Recovery Fever,” when, as New York magazine’s cover described it, baby boomers and club kids were “turning 12-step programs in a nineties scene.”  Interestingly, the editor chose this pull-quote:  “The 12-step philosophy urges suffering people to get out of themselves — to give to others.”  That’s also a good strategy for getting through a pandemic!