I have been writing and revising “How To Not Write” since 1977, the year the late T. George Harris took a chance on me.
Founder of Psychology Today and American Health, T. George was then at New York magazine. I worked in educational publishing (as editor and author). He patiently — and, in retrospect, miraculously — pushed me through four painful drafts of a piece that chronicled my own career transition, “How To Get Out of Your Job Rut,”
“Blau, you skip through life,” he bellowed at me after reading my second attempt. “Why are you lumbering on paper?” Each draft got shorter and clearer. However, each time I sat down to start the next revision, I feared I’d never truly learn to “skip” on the page, so I looked for something else to do. “How To Not Write” was born.
My procrastination pattern often goes like this: Assignment. Deadline. Research. Start to write. Writing gets hard. Confusion. Fear. I’ll never get it. Paralysis. Do something else.
I often fall back on favorite avoidance tactics, like cooking and researching (as long as it’s not about my topic), but life always presents new opportunities to not-write. Here are my current strategies:
Get a puppy. Admittedly, having a puppy gives me “material.” I wrote about Rocky when he was 12-weeks old (“Welcoming a New Relationship), at 13 weeks (“Baby Whispering Works on Puppies Too”), and at 15 weeks (“My Puppy Is In Charge”). He is now 6 months old — bigger, smarter, and decidedly more impish. I try in vain to stay one step ahead of him. Lots to write about but no time. Well-meaning acquaintances watch me wrangle this high-spirited little guy and say sympathetically, “Of course you’re not writing. Who could concentrate with a puppy like that underfoot?”
Get involved with your community. The Miami condo was my writer’s retreat until 2016, when I was elected to the Board of Directors. To be sure, the experience of running a homeowners assocation split by politics and cultural differences is indeed something to write about — at once, fascinating and infuriating. But I was too immersed in the drama and the drudgery to actually write. Though I am happily no longer on the Board, I still occasionally pore over reports, send emails, and research relevant condo laws — all of which inspire me to not-write.
Talk. I talk a lot, talk to strangers, and sometimes talk too much. I ask a lot of questions and listen to the answers. I can’t talk and write at the same time. What I could do is keep a notebook of my conversations and observations throughout the day. But that would be writing.
Sit in the sun. I often think about writing. I might talk or text ideas into my phone. And I’ll sometimes send myself an email. But creating a digital file isn’t “writing.” I’m not putting pen to paper or my fingers on a keyboard. When a wave of guilt comes over me (for sitting in the sun as well as for not writing), I tell myself, I’ll write about this when I get home. The problem is, when I return to my apartment, I don’t necessarily take the time to write. Instead, I look for a way to not-write!
Dive into whatever makes the world disappear. For me, it’s crossword puzzles. Hand me a pen and a puzzle, especially an Acrostic or Diagramless from the Sunday New York Times, and I’m gone. Nothing else enters my mind or matters. I don’t ruminate on problems. I have no regrets. I experience “flow.“ Best of all I never feel guilty about this not-writing strategy, because doing crossword puzzles is good for my brain. (So many of the things I like no longer are!)
I AM NOT ALONE…
The above strategies can be adapted to not-do whatever you are trying to avoid. Yes, you! Google “procrastination,” and you’ll find more than 54 million hits. Clearly, I’m not the only one who’s taken a page from Scarlet O’Hara’s book.
…“procrastination” itself comes from the latin “pro”, which means “forward”, and “crastinatus”, which means “till next day.”
Out of laziness, fear, perfectionism, and a host of other reasons, many of us dodge our responsibilities. Stats depend who’s being surveyed and what’s asked. For example, a psychology professor found that 20% of the participants in his study were “procs” (chronic procrastinators), whereas a productivity expert found that 88% of the workforce admitted procrastinating at least one hour a day!
To justify our not-doing, we tell ourselves we don’t have time, we are busy with other things — we just can’t get to it. “It” might be anything from menial labor to major projects.
Making matters worse, in 2020 we are buffeted by what film, media, and theater professor Ethan Tussey calls “the procrastination economy” in his 2017 book. We don’t just binge on media, says Tussey, we also “snack,” filling little bits of our time with distractions that nourish our not-doing (and make others rich).
What to do about the not-doing dilemma? Don’t ask me! But there’s tons of new research and good advice online, including this tidbit from “Why People Procrastinate“:
To successfully deal with your procrastination, you need to figure out why you procrastinate and how your procrastination is preventing you from achieving your goals, so you can formulate a concrete plan of action, based on appropriate anti-procrastination techniques, that will help you deal with your reason for procrastination.
By writing and rewriting “How To Not Write,” I at least tell myself the truth.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, before I get distracted, I’m going to upload this piece to my website, something I’ve been meaning to do all week — but have been not-doing instead!
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BONUS READ:
If you liked this piece, you might enjoy “The Six Spiritual Laws of Distress” in which I reveal clever strategies for ignoring my Higher Self, “that part of me that is supposed to get wiser with age.”
Elle says
I have been procrastinating all my life.It feels good to march to a different drummer,not going along with the speed freak hordes in the streets of Gotham.I do not procrastinate about procrastinating. Face it: it is a very 21 century lifestyle. The message is,slow down,don’t tune in and don’t turn on.Procrastinate.
Great article.We all must incorporate this concept into our lives.It will lower your blood pressure,and keep your brain active.
Melinda Blau says
Elle, so glad you get it and approve! Thanks for weighing in!
Gregg says
I just got home from going to a movie to avoid whatever it was I should have been doing, which I have now forgotten.
The thing not the movie.
Quit procrastinating and write more! I need these insights of yours.
Melinda Blau says
Thank you, Greg. You have inspired me to write a new post on the gift of forgetfulness. I’ll try to get to it right away!
sue says
Here’s the irony: you write so well about how to not write. Why not instead just write about how to write? Your own thoughts and insights on writing might just create new avenues to explore.
Melinda Blau says
Good point, but here’s the problem. When I’m writing, I’m in it. I don’t have insight on writing; I’m just writing — and I am sure my process is unique to me. When I’m not writing, THEN I analyze why not. I’ve written and rewritten this piece so many times, because — truth be told, NOT writing is clearly part of my writing process! In the days when I actually wrote drafts on paper, I used to call it my “pencil-circling” stage!