My best old ladies have (or had) a good sense of humor. And no wonder. Laughter is healthy at any age. But when you’re ninety and beyond, being able to “make light” is a survival tactic.
Whenever I tell 101-year-old Marge she’s my role model, she laughs. “I don’t have much competition!”
My first real conversation with her was on December 9, 2016, at our building’s annual Christmas party.
Spotting her at the buffet table, I recognized her as the elegant much-older lady I’d once met on the roof. She was always smiling and surrounded by people. It was clear she was a “good” 98-year-old. I wanted to know more.
I blurted out, “Hi, I’m your neighbor. We met on the roof.” To keep the conversation going, I added, “I hear you moved here 75 years ago.”
“Two days after Pearl Harbor,” she said, as she put a roast-beef wrap onto a paper plate that rested on the seat of her walker. After adding a few chunks of white and yellow cheese and a helping of melon balls, she turned to leave the table.
“Be careful that you don’t forget and sit down!” I said.
Without missing a beat, she said, “Thanks for the reminder,” and quickly added, “Then again, I like to make an impression.”
Zelda, long the reigning queen of my old ladies — she died a few months before her 105th birthday — also loved to make others laugh. Whether she was having dinner at my house (see the video below), visiting a senior center, or regaling my grandsons (then 10, 8, and 5) with dirty jokes — Zelda had them begging for more. And she loved it. She had a repertoire of stories, jokes, poems, and inspirational sayings that she rehearsed during her daily 3-mile walks. She was also quick-witted.
Me: “How does it feel to be 104, Zelda?”
Zelda: “Compared to what? I’ve never been 104 before!”
Zelda’s motto was “Live, love, and laugh.”
She knew, though, that of the three, only “laughter” is in our control. “Live” is in God’s hands, she would say. And “love” is interactive and requires another being. “Laugh” is something we can actually choose to do.
There’s solid research suggesting that laughter and positivity make you live longer. But even if social science is wrong, my old ladies are living proof that, at the very least, humor makes your life better.
Note: Unfortunately, Zelda’s first few words (“A row of pills upon my shelf…”) were cut off. She was doing a bit of her “act” for my dinner guests and me. I often held dinners in Zelda’s honor — I loved introducing her to friends. None were disappointed.
Melin’ I love your old ladies. The videos are great. Did you know that our “sister”, Pat has a 108 year old mother in law who she loves?
Gail, yes, I’ve seen Pat’s posts about her. I wish her MIL lived near one of my places! Thanks for being a loyal reader. Even tho’ we go way back, you don’t have to but you choose to!
Love this, Melinda! The spirit resonates with everything I observe and hold to be true, and reminds me of all the “old people” (by which I mean people with decades of life experience) I’ve always admired and loved– historic figures, celebrities, authors, and my own great-aunt, my grandparents and my parents– for whom humor, remaining engaged in life, and embracing a positive attitude = wisdom. (PS – a bit more on the mens’ perspective, I suppose: I’ve been watching the Kaminsky Method lately and laughing constantly).
Janna, thanks! I started to cultivate relationships with “good” older women (then the age difference had to be 25 years–a requirement that’s getting harder to meet!) when I was 50. I’ve been meaning to watch the Kaminsky Method. Your review will inspire me to actually do it! I concentrate on women because that’s where ageism is most virulent.